The more I travel around Thailand, the more I am solidified in my belief that humanity is a virus. Individually, our only cares are for eating, consuming, fucking, and the propagation of our genes. As a whole, we are a filthy parasitic scum, multiplying and feeding on our host body unto death. The point of collapse can’t be far off now: the extinction of our dirty civilization, the end of our polluting, our gluttony, our hedonism. Unfortunately, Phi Phi Island only served to strengthen this belief.
Because the small island has no roads or land vehicles, I was hoping Phi Phi Island would be a change of pace from the over-crowd I’ve seen so far in Thailand. But don’t believe the paradise reviews in the books and online; we’ve all but wrecked one more of the most beautiful places on Earth with our air conditioning, refrigeration, cement, garbage, petroleum products, sewage, etc. It’s now a tourist hole, clusterfuck. Probably more so than before the Tsunami of 2004 tried to clean the place up. I guess I could try and escape from paradise to visit one of the nearby protected (from us) islands, but the never ending parade of ferries, speedboats, and long-tails packed with us has really dampened my desire to do so atm.
My hostel, Freedom hostel@phi phi, is a newly built cement barn with windowless dorms. It has some nice tropical landscaping out front which does little to hide the surrounding sewage ditches and hovels of humanity. The shower stinks of sewage and my dorm room stinks either of decaying corpse or infected pussy. I’m guessing the former, because the 5 girls I’m sharing it with (thank god my farts are silent but not deadly tonight, cause damn I’m gassed up still) all seem fairly hygienic.
Or maybe I’m just bitter right now because I can hear people hate-fucking above me through my headphones, last night some fat bitch was snoring like a boar all night long, and I was fucking ashed on today! Or maybe I should just stop staying at the cheapest (within reason of course) hostels? Don’t get me wrong, Phi Phi Island is still beautiful in spite of the trash. Headphones and a liberal dab of cologne under my nose should get me through the night and hopefully I can find a trail to hike to a nice quiet viewpoint in the morning.
It’s sad to see there’s clearly still alot of work to be done to rebuild the homes of many of the permanent residents, 11 years after the Tsunami destroyed much of Ko Phi Phi.
Well, this morning I tried to get an early start to gain some altitude and cross over to some more remote beaches on the East side of the Phi Phi Island, but the Sun beat me too it – after breakfast, banana/pineapple pancake and banana/coconut milkshake, and scouting around for a bit trying to locate the trail head, I was already overheated. So came back to the hostel and plugged in until the Sun abates. Today the island seems much more pleasant and welcoming to me than when I first arrived.
I think the underlying reason why other travelers annoy me is because they remind me that I’m one of them: just another tourist leaving plastic in my wake. So whether you’re a luggage toting white dude wearing an asian conical hat, or a eyelash extending, botox queen, a creatine guzzling juicer, or just a wall photo of a Thai tattoo on sunburned flesh, come to Phi Phi Island, you’re sure to fit right in! Sorry, I’m sure their all very nice people with nice mothers.